At what point does a girl become a “woman”? Is she born with all the elements of a woman and then simply has to grow and experience and mature into womanhood?
Is it all about perception? It’s taken me a long time to accept and embrace being a woman. How odd that realization now feels when clearly everyone else could only have perceived me as a woman and not a girl – for years and years and years…
None of the milestones in my life triggered a true knowing in me that I was now an official woman. Graduating from college, getting a real job, marriage, buying a house, having children, graduating from law school, getting an even realer job, buying another house. In my mind, I was still a girl pretending to be a grown-up woman.
Even now, my parents haven’t completely come to grips with who I am. Mom routinely predicts that, one of these days, I’ll understand. One of these days, I’ll experience this or that horror. I kindly point out that, at this point, our 24-year age difference just isn’t that far off. Dad seemed truly shocked when I handled some legal issues for him recently and, it seems, conducted myself as a legitimate professional woman.
My friend, Amy, recently posted a beautiful, candid blog about her struggle to find herself and become “wholehearted”. She boldly addresses seeking out a therapist and working, painfully, through so many personal issues and coming through a dark tunnel into a glorious personal light. Midway through her post, Amy writes, “I met a woman who had undergone her own transformation and who was now sharing her knowledge, energy and healthy living products with her community through a health food shop. We became fast friends, and she introduced me to new ways to eat, supplement, practice yoga, connect to the Earth, establish a work/life balance, turn a negative into a positive and much more. This blog is a result of a writing group she organized and hosted. I never had the courage to put what I felt out there before. In all honestly, I didn’t know what I felt half the time – my thoughts were often clouded and jumbled — and I didn’t have the self-confidence to state my opinions. The writing group gave me the courage and support I needed to express myself.”
I smiled. The “woman with a health food shop” is my daughter. I, too, have been profoundly changed by this woman and I try to treat her and think of her as the woman she is. But seeing her referred to as a woman hit me like a lightning bolt!
Wait a minute. It feels like this changes things – narrows the age gap between us – refreshes our connection – electrifies our commonality. There’s no going back. Yes, being a woman and not just pretending to be one had crept up on me but I’m settled with it. But now it’s official – my daughter is one, too!
vivinolavita 